The Dating Game, Amino Acid Edition

The Dating Game, Amino Acid Edition

A quick preface for this week’s post: A gentleman caller of mine asked me a really great question early in the wee beginnings of conversation. It surprised me a little because I had never thought of it. The question was, “what is your favorite amino acid?” It was absurd to me that I have never considered this question before. The answer, however, was clear.

 Please note, there will be a short story featuring my one true residue shortly.

 The big question, how do you decide? There are all of these friendly protein building blocks (and these are just the super common ones):

 

We will start out with the hydrophobes.

These fellas are all auto-ruled out in my book any –phobes are a little sketch if you ask me.

 Anyway, in the list we have Tryptophan (you may know this fella from recollections like, Thanksgiving, Christmas, any holiday in which you eat a bunch of crap and feel bad about yourself)

 

Disclaimer: The tryptophan/turkey assertion

 is not actually founded in science.

Please refrain from judging the reference.

 

There is Tyrosine the tyrant and twin sister, Phenyl alanine. Pictured also is Methionine, the friend who likes to start shit (which would be funny if you know anything about start codons).

Next we have Leucine and Isoleucine. Isoleucine being the older, more put-together sibling.

 

To round out this group, we have the basic bitches, Valine and Alanine.

 

Next group to immediately omit, The Polars.

From hot to cold, super reactive. Polars are certainly not long-term relationship material.

We have the not-so-serene, Serine and Threonine who is presently going through an identity crisis (three or nine?).

 

Rumor has it that Asparagine is the heir of a large asparagus fortune.

 

To round this group out we have a great energy source in a pinch. He is the one, the only Glutamine.

 

Next we have the Special Cases.

These are the artists, the beautiful, torrid, magnificent creatures one simply cannot tie down.

Cystine and Selenocysteine, are well known for forming the strongest bonds among those similar enough to be graced by their presence. Their inevitable split is tragic, dramatic, passionate.

Glycine, the most basic of the bitches, has nothing going for him. He is incapable of forming strong bonds or participating in really cool structures. He is void of any interesting tidbits. Seriously. Nothing. How does Glycine even belong in this group?

 

Proline always feels a little inbred; he is sort of like the banjo kid from Deliverance. Eugh.

I present to you the Charged Amino Acids.

Onto the best proteins have to offer, the movers and the shakers, the doers.  They are electric. Cue ‘80s music.

 

 

Which of these fine bachelors have stolen my heart?

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Despite their drive and Ability to get shit done (think NMDA receptors and ions moving across a cell membrane or MSG and the fall of the Asian food empire), Aspartic Acid and Glutamic Acid are a bit too negative for my taste. I need someone with drive, ambition, stability.

 

A girl like myself needs someone who is well rounded, has hobbies, has dreams and is down to earth. Residues like Lysine and Arginine seem to be headed strongly in one direction and have a hard time wrapping their head around the big picture.

 

 

So I guess that settles it. The one remaining residue, brilliant, maker of change, handsome, a great breadth of experience has to be none other than Histidine.